Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Christmas

Christmas is the best time of the year.  I look forward to it all year long.  That's when Santa Claus comes to see me.

I don't know when Christmas is, so I ask people if Christmas is coming soon.  They say things like, "Not yet, NW," or "It's coming in a while," or "soon, NW," or "You already asked me that this morning!"  

One of my friends, Ralph Cress, comes to see me often.  He talks about Santa Claus a lot with me.  I can tell when Christmas is near, because Ralph talks to me more and more about Santa coming to see me.

On Christmas morning, I can hear a bell ringing, and in comes Santa Claus.  He has a white beard and a red suit.  He is carrying presents for me.  One year, I looked at Santa and then said, "That's you, Ralph Cress, isn't it?"  He seemed a little sad.

After that year, Santa didn't come to see me on Christmas morning.  That's okay.  I don't really understand why he doesn't come anymore, but Christmas is still the best part of the year, and Santa still sends me presents. I know he's thinking of me.

By the way, do you know if Christmas is coming soon?  You'll tell me when it's near, right?  I'll ask you next time I see you.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Elections

People are talking a lot about elections these days.  I don't understand what they mean by "elections," but they make a lot of people very mad.  People are shouting at each other, people who used to be friends.  

Elections must do a bad job at whatever they are supposed to do.  From what I've heard, each side chose a leader who is really terrible.  It seems that one of these terrible people is going to win, but they are both terrible.  Who decided that these elections were the way to go?

When the elections are over, will friends be friends again, or will they always hate each other?  

When elections are over, will the world come to an end?  I've heard several people say this will happen, if the elections go the wrong way.

Are elections like a ball game, with two teams?  Are there rules against unsportsmanlike conduct?  Is lying allowed during elections?  How much money does it cost to be on the team?  It sounds like it costs a lot.

When the elections are all over, will I get anything out of them?  Is this like Christmas, with presents, or is it trick-or-treat like Halloween?  Will I be happier, or will I be very, very sad?  How will my life change, when elections are all over?

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Sex

I don't understand what sex is.   People say, "Well, NW, they're having sex," but I don't know what that means.  People go into the bed room and close the door.  

From as near as I can figure, sex means fighting, a whole lot of fighting.  I can hear things being knocked around, especially the bed.  

Sex must hurt, because people say, "Oh, oh, oh!" and they moan and grunt a lot.  They also pray a lot: "Oh, God! Oh, God!"  They seem to do more praying in the bed room than they do in church.  They also say, "I'm coming, I'm coming!"  Just exactly where are they going?  They haven't left the bed room.  I don't understand sex.

Afterwards, the people come out of the room with smiles on their faces, as though they hadn't been fighting.  They don't fool me.  I know what I heard.

Older people seem to do less fighting in the bed room.  They make less noise, and they don't fight as often.  Guess they finally settled whatever they've been fighting about.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Hello from NW

Hey!  My name's  NW.  

People say I'm not right.  I was born that way.  I don't know what that means, but there's lots of thing I don't understand.

People talk with each other.  Sometimes they say something to me, but I don't know what to say.  I can talk, but it doesn't seem to make much sense to others.  So I listen a lot.  I hear things, and I see things.

I don't know  how old I am.  Some people say I'm an old man now, but I feel the same as always.  I don't understand numbers.  I can count one and two, but that's all I know.

My name is NW, but some people call me boy, always boy.  I don't understand.

I have to go now.  Someone is calling, "Boy!"  They must be calling me to supper.

Next time I'll tell you all about Santa Claus!

Bye for now,

NW